Sunday, September 13, 2009

Woman, You Are Free!

Crickets chirping in the silence of the night…

It's almost midnight...

This side of the world is lulled by the melody of darkness and sleep. Some are driving home from their weekend getaway. Others are watching the last few minutes of the Sunday night football game. And a few are lying immobile, staring at the ceiling, wondering... thinking... trying to figure out what went wrong. Although the pain is buried deeply, it hurts as if it only happened this very moment. Separation. Love lost. The end of a relationship. The beginning of bewilderment.

When the decision was made, you were sure that it was for the best. Love waned. Trust faded. Respect was flushed down the drain. There’s nothing to hold on for. In fact, it’s not fair for the kids to be the only reason to stay together. It’s not fair for them or for you both. So the process of weighing in the pros and cons, what’s right and wrong, and all other matters that needed to be considered was long and strenuous? Even that final moment when he finally packed his bags and drove off and you know he’s not coming home anymore was not easy. I know it killed you. You hugged your kids; told them it's going to be fine; assured them that it’s not their fault; promised them you and their dad will always love them no matter what. You meant it. Every word! In a way, you needed to reassure yourself. You needed to boost your confidence because when that happened, you died along with your vows you made on your wedding day!

You ended that chapter of your life. Another one began.

You woke up that first morning without him in the house. The silence was eerie and yet, for some reason, comforting. You have your life back. You have the future in your hands. Your heart was heavy but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. There were things to be done. You got up with an undeniable strength and you didn’t dare question where it’s coming from. You were relieved as you and kids managed to laugh while having breakfast over some silly comments from your youngest. Afterwards, as if nothing changed, you dropped them to school; then proceeded to work. It was another day.

Supper was uneventful. No one dared mention where daddy was or when he’s coming home. For a second it worried you. You thought that the kids were afraid to ask questions. So you smiled and told them that daddy was coming to see them this weekend. They smiled in response. No question was asked. Your heart ached for them but you didn’t know how to handle the situation that very moment. So, you assured yourself that it’s going to be fine.

Midnight came and found yourself still awake. You reached for him as you always do when something’s bothering you only to realize that he’s not there anymore and will not be there for, perhaps, the rest of your life. Tears sprang from your eyes without you realizing it until you fell asleep.

You know it’s going to be tough. There will be days when it’s easier. You are brave to take your life back. You deserve another chance at life; a chance to turn things around for the better.

Perhaps tonight, you’ll lay awake staring at the ceiling, listening to the chirping of the crickets, staring at the ceiling… but this will soon be over. The pain will be mended. The situation will get better. You are a woman of courage; a woman of faith, a woman who believes in herself. You have chosen to brush off your weaknesses for good. This time is for you and your children. Another chance at love will come someday. Right now, you have things to do… Perhaps tomorrow night will be the beginning of a restful, peaceful sleep!

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